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Falwell and Christian gay rights group meet to lower the heat of their rhetoric
Friday, October 22, 1999 By Ann Rodgers-Melnick, Post-Gazette Staff Writer
Christian morality crusader the Rev. Jerry Falwell and 200 of his supporters will sit down for a conversation tomorrow with 200 gay rights activists at Falwell's Thomas Road Baptist Church in Lynchburg, Va., where they will meet again for worship on Sunday. No one involved is expected to change his or her mind about whether gay sex is sinful. But Falwell and the Rev. Mel White, his former ghostwriter turned gay activist, are expected to urge conservative Christians and homosexuals to speak of each other with love, rather than contempt. The meeting, which has the potential to ease hostilities in the culture wars, was brought about by that star of pre-toddler television, the Teletubby Tinky Winky. Early this year, Falwell made headlines for allegedly claiming that Tinky Winky -- who wears the lavender color of gay pride and carries a purse -- was gay. In fact, the founder of the former Moral Majority had said no such thing. A newsletter related to his television ministry had quoted a gay newspaper, which claimed Tinky Winky as a symbol of gay pride, and warned parents to be "alert to these elements of the series." The avalanche of vitriol and ridicule heaped on Falwell as a result troubled White. A former insider among the elite of the religious right, White had ghostwritten books for Falwell, religious broadcaster Pat Robertson, evangelist Billy Graham and others. Throughout those years, White had battled his own homosexuality with everything from prayer to electroshock therapy. When he emerged from the closet to proclaim himself both gay and Christian, he became a pariah among his former friends and fellow believers. But he longed to get his message across to them, and didn't think that would happen by trading insult for insult. "Bashing Jerry Falwell is harmful to our cause," White wrote on his Web site, http://www.soulforce.org. He called for a movement, inspired by the teachings of Jesus, Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr., to change the hearts of those who denounced homosexuals as dangerous corrupters of the nation's morality. "Before our surprise attack, Jerry had never seen an episode of the Teletubbies, let alone denounced them," White wrote. "Outloving our enemy is the only way we can prove to Jerry that he is wrong about us, that we have chosen the high moral ground, that we are God's children, too. Bashing Jerry only hurts us. I know from experience. I spent three years bashing Falwell, Robertson, [Focus on the Family founder James] Dobson and the others. I got lots of attention, but I did very little to help our cause and nothing to change the minds and hearts of those who fear us." Falwell is acting out of a sincere faith and doesn't understand that he is misinformed and misguided, wrote White, who is now a minister in the predominantly gay Universal Fellowship of Metropolitan Community Churches. "He doesn't understand, let alone believe, that his false and inflammatory rhetoric leads [directly and indirectly] to discrimination, suffering and death. I'm sure that Jerry would condemn those who killed Matthew Shepard (a young man who was murdered in Wyoming) or carved 'fag' into Adam Colton's (a teen who was beaten up in California) chest." Some gay activists reviled White for his faith in Falwell, but Ellen Douglas, a graphic designer from Brookline, was moved by it. Like White, her heart and soul had been molded by the evangelical community. Now 40, she struggled desperately against her attraction to others of her own sex. Like him, she accepted the advice that marriage would "cure" her, and wed a close friend. But the lie she was living nearly destroyed her, she said. "When I got divorced, it was a question of suicide or being gay," Douglas said. She chose the latter and moved to Atlanta, where she joined a congregation of the Metropolitan Community Churches. "I believe my faith is what got me through my hardest time," she said. Eventually she met the woman who is now her partner. They moved to Pittsburgh and joined Sixth Presbyterian Church, which is known for welcoming gay people. When Douglas heard that White was to visit Pittsburgh last May, she volunteered to drive him to the airport. White told her that he had been praying for someone with her design talents to get involved in his ministry. Soon she was helping him organize the campaign culminating this weekend in Lynchburg. The major event will be closed to the media, as the 400 evangelicals and gay rights activists listen to each other's stories and talk in small groups. While in Lynchburg, the gay rights activists will also hold a memorial service for all victims of hatred -- including the evangelical Christians murdered recently during a Texas church service. They will give $20,000 to the Lynchburg Habitat for Humanity and pick up trash along a Lynchburg road. After worshipping at Falwell's church on Sunday, they plan to follow the Southern evangelical tradition of inviting their new friends out for a meal. While Falwell and his guests meet indoors, protesters are expected to gather outside. Among them is the Rev. Fred Phelps, the Kansas preacher most notorious for standing outside the funeral of Matthew Shepard with signs proclaiming that the young man was burning in hell. Many major evangelical preachers have renounced Phelps and his message. The most recent issue of the evangelical flagship magazine Christianity Today called Phelps a messenger of hate and said that his work "discredits the church." Douglas isn't worried about Phelps. "I'm kind of glad he will be there. He can help us find common ground. That is the main thing that Mel and Jerry are agreeing on, to cut down on the rhetoric." The project began with a series of open letters from White to Falwell. In one, White said that he was bringing his supporters to worship at Falwell's Thomas Road Baptist Church. He hoped Falwell and the congregation would welcome them. And that is what Falwell agreed to do, said Mark DeMoss, Falwell's spokesman. It has been agreed up front that Falwell is not about to change his theology but is willing to reconsider how he presents his beliefs. "I think it is going to be constructive," DeMoss said. "I think Mel [White] is a little more realistic than others might be about what sort of gains and progress can be made." When Falwell realized that White and his supporters were going to Lynchburg, he did not want to turn a cold shoulder, DeMoss said. He also recognized that White had made some valid points about his organization's literature. Although no advance statement has been prepared, Falwell "has expressed to Mel previously that he would seek to be more careful, and look at communications going out of his organization more carefully, to ensure that they can't be construed to be condoning or encouraging violence or hatred toward gays," DeMoss said. Falwell wants to get his message across to White's supporters as much as they want to get their message across to him, DeMoss said. "I think a significant factor in Falwell's thinking is that the debate and controversy that so often surrounds the subject really doesn't earn us a hearing for presenting the gospel. This kind of a forum makes that a lot more possible," he said.
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